Toilet paper fascists in our bathrooms

by Tasha on Monday, December 21, 2009, 8:29 am · 13 comments

Greenpeace takes time out from helping to kill millions of children to produce a toilet paper guide.

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Tagged as: busybodies, DDT ban, fascists, Greenpeace, toilet paper

{ 13 comments }

1 greyburr December 21, 2009 at 9:42 pm

Pine cones,as green as you can get.For liberals,dollar store toilet brushes,left hand version.

2 MooseandSquirrel December 22, 2009 at 7:37 am: Cruel, so cruel…I like it.

3 MooseandSquirrel December 21, 2009 at 3:10 pm

You’re all a hoot!

I still remember my dad’s stories about growing up on a farm without indoor plumbing — no TP, just Sears catalogues. Maybe the grittier TP won’t be so bad after all.

4 The_Iceman December 21, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Remember in the movie Demolition Man when Sly is defrosted in the future and as he is heading into the toilet they tried to tell him how to wipe his ass. In the washroom instead of toilet paper, there were 3 sea shells.

Is that where we are heading?

5 Kaffir_Kanuck December 21, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Once the soft stuff is made illegal, I’ll be ready with the softest stuff of all. Water!

Bidet here I come!

And when I have my eco-Nazi relatives over, I’ll tell ‘em it’s my new water drinkin’ fountain.

6 dmorris December 21, 2009 at 1:34 pm

I’m thankful that organizations like Greenpeace,PETA, Earth First, the IPCC, are here to tell me how to do just about everything! Some might call them neurotic, meddling busy bodies, I call them environmental heroes, as in the old “Hero of the Soviet Union”,and am in favour of each member of those august organizations wearing a red star on their jackets.

Some of you here are disgracefully wasteful with your TP. The average roll has 260 sheets, at one sheet per person per day, a roll should last 260 defecation days,almost nine months!

Think of the trees! Think of the children too, just in case.

7 Bill Elder December 21, 2009 at 12:26 pm

“GIVE ME CHARMIN OR GIVE ME DEATH!” – ( Mr. Whippel)

Those who would deny us our most basic comforts have the mind and soul of the Sadist.

8 NeilD December 21, 2009 at 10:29 am

You know what, I’m going to go Christmas shopping later and let my engine run while I’m inside the mall. I usually don’t do that but for today only that will be my way of telling Greenpeace to kiss my Cottonella ass.

9 Bubba Brown December 21, 2009 at 9:37 am

So now that we have all figured we out don’t need to send all our treasure to the U.N. to save Gaia from meltin’ toilet paper is the new frontier. “We will go where no man has gone before”, one would certainly hope so. I would propose “John Wayne” toilet paper “it’s rough !it’s tough!, but it doesen’t take any s**t from anyone” Well your butt wouldn’t be “green” anymore. I always thought that maybe the Greenies had a toilet trainin’ potty kinda issue.

10 Joanne (T.B.) December 21, 2009 at 9:26 am

I’m sure Sheryl Crow would be in favour of banning premium toilet tissue – in fact she probably uses her sleeve.

11 MooseandSquirrel December 21, 2009 at 9:35 am: Ol’ “one square”! She’s one person I’d never want to shake hands with.

Dining sleeves — sheesh! I wonder what she does when she has to blow her nose? Sleeves again?

12 Skinny Dipper December 21, 2009 at 9:19 am

I just wish the toilet paper companies could make a roll of TP that lasts more than a day in a household. There is less paper per roll than there used to be years ago. Also, the less-soft recycled paper doesn’t feel that great, but it works with less paper used overall. I’ve used the sandpaper stuff in Europe. The grittier stuff works better and less paper is used.

13 MooseandSquirrel December 21, 2009 at 9:33 am: I sometimes buy the double rolls (no name brand) — they last longer.

Yikes, I don’t know if I could get used to gritty toilet paper.